Living Alcohol Free - Getting Real About Change

Nigel Harpley
May 25, 2025
2 min read

If you’re reading this, you might be considering what life could look like without alcohol. Maybe you’re feeling stuck in old habits, or perhaps you’re just curious about what’s possible if you take a step back from drinking. Wherever you are, you’re not alone-and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself.

It’s Not About Perfection

One of the biggest misconceptions I hear is that you have to “get it right” from day one. The truth? Becoming alcohol free is rarely a straight line. I remember one client who set out to do “Dry July” and, by week two, found himself at a mate’s birthday with a drink in hand. He texted me the next day, half-joking, “Well, that didn’t last long.” But here’s the thing: it wasn’t failure, it was feedback. He learned what situations were tricky for him and used that knowledge to plan ahead next time.

You Already Have What You Need

Another myth is that you need superhuman willpower to make a change. In reality, you have strengths and skills you use every day (at work, at home, in your relationships) that can help you here too. I’ve seen men who thought they “could never say no” to a drink at a work event, only to discover that a simple, “I’m good for now, thanks,” was all it took. Sometimes, the hardest part is giving yourself permission to try something different.

Honest Conversations, No Judgment

Let’s be honest: there’s a lot of pressure to keep up appearances. Maybe you’ve told yourself, “Everyone else seems to handle it, so I should too.” The truth is, most people have their own struggles, even if they don’t talk about them. Someone I worked with joked that he was “the king of the stealth goodbye” - slipping out of parties early because he didn’t want to drink, but didn’t want to explain himself either. While this can be a useful early strategy, later we worked together on ways to be upfront without making it a big deal. Turns out, his friends respected his honesty more than he expected.

Progress, Not Perfection

Change happens in small steps. Maybe you start by swapping a few drinks for something else, or by taking a couple of nights off each week. Every step forward counts, and setbacks are just part of the process. Think about it: if you trip on the stairs, do throw yourself back down the whole flight? A slip-up is just that - a slip, and an opportunity to learn - not the end of the story.

Your Journey, Your Way

This isn’t about fitting someone else’s mould or living up to anyone’s expectations. It’s about finding what works for you and building a life that feels more connected, purposeful, and true to who you are. You don’t have to do it alone. I’m here to offer support, practical tools, and a space to talk things through-no pressure, no judgment.