Self-Compassion: Is It a Guy Thing?

Nigel Harpley
Jul 19, 2025
2 min read

Updated: Jul 22, 2025

Quick take: 19 July 2025 is International Self‑Compassion Day – an annual reminder to turn the same kindness you show others toward yourself.

What is Self Compassion for guys?

Self‑compassion simply means treating yourself like a good friend when you’re struggling - instead of just pushing through, running away, and/or beating yourself up. It includes:

Mindful awareness – noticing pain or difficulty without judgement, just seeing they are there.
Common humanity – remembering you’re not alone; everyone has hard moments.
Kind self‑talk – offering warmth and support to yourself instead of criticism.

Why am I talking about it now?

Every year, the third Saturday in July (19 July in 2025) is International Self-Compassion Day. It reminds us to swap self-criticism for self-kindness. The day was created by self-compassion pioneers Dr Kristin Neff and Dr Christopher Germer (co-founders of Mindful Self-Compassion training) to spark simple, science-backed practices anyone can try.

Why it matters

As guys the research tells us how we can really benefit:

Resilience: People who practice self-compassion bounce back faster from setbacks.
Motivation: Studies show we work harder and smarter when we encourage ourselves rather than shame ourselves.
Well-being: Lower stress, better sleep, improved relationships. Small kindnesses ripple outward.

A one‑minute practice

Try this quick and easy way to give it a try today...

Pause & notice. Catch yourself having an “Ugh, I f**d that up!” thought.
Re-phrase. Ask: How would I speak to a friend in this moment?
Hand-on-heart (10 sec). Literally put your hand on your heart for ten seconds and breathe. Gentle physical reassurance calms the nervous system.

That’s it, no incense, no mountain solitude retreat required.

Want to go deeper?

Official page & free practice suggestions → Self-Compassion.org
Live/recorded events & Mindful Self Compassion (MSC) resources → Center for MSC
Watch my 12‑second reel on gentle self‑talk below.

PS - If you’re rethinking life or habits (like grey-area drinking), self-compassion is the fuel that keeps change going. One small kindness ➜ big change.